How I can help
Couples, Pre-Marital and Marital Counselling
Couples counselling in Surrey, BC with a Registered Clinical Counsellor trained in the Gottman Method. Sessions are for couples at any stage — long-married, newly together, or somewhere in between — in person or online across British Columbia.
You might be here because
- The same argument keeps happening in different words
- One of you has stopped bringing things up at all
- Something specific happened and you have not found your way past it
- You want to talk about the future and cannot get to it
- You are considering separating and want to be sure before you decide
None of that has to apply exactly. People often arrive unable to name what is wrong, and that is a perfectly good place to start from.
What the work looks like
Both people get heard, and neither is cast as the problem. Gottman Method work looks at the patterns in how you actually communicate — what escalates, what shuts down, what gets avoided — and builds different ways of having the same conversation. Cultural and family expectations often sit underneath what a couple is arguing about, and there is room for that here.
Approaches most often used
Emotionally Focused Therapy
EFT is a short-term, structured approach to relationship distress, grounded in attachment theory. It works on the emotional cycle a couple gets caught in — the pursuit and withdrawal underneath a recurring argument — rather than on the content of the argument itself, with the aim of re-establishing a secure bond.
More on EFT →Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
CBT is a short-term, goal-oriented, practical approach to problem-solving. I use it to change the patterns of thinking or behaviour sitting behind a difficulty, and so change the way you feel. It is used for everything from sleep problems and relationship difficulties to substance use, anxiety and depression.
More on CBT →
Further reading
Before you book
What actually happens in a first counselling session
A first session is mostly you talking and me listening, with no obligation to tell the worst of it straight away. Here is what the hour is actually spent on, what I will ask, and what you are free not to answer.
Before you book
How to choose a counsellor in BC, and what the letters after the name mean
In British Columbia, "counsellor" and "therapist" are not restricted titles — anyone may use them. "Registered Clinical Counsellor" is different, and carries a master’s degree, supervised clinical hours, a code of ethics and a complaints process behind it. Here is what to check before you book.